


The Stash

by klancemke



Category: Voltron: Defender of the Universe (1984), Voltron: Legendary Defender, Voltron: Lion Voltron
Genre: Anal Plugs, Dildos, Humor, Leave me comments, M/M, Prostate Massagers, Really read this one, Seriously read this one, Sex Toys, YOU WON'T REGRET IT, keith gets caught, klance, tease, what will happen next
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:54:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16583027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klancemke/pseuds/klancemke
Summary: "If I say 'yes' will you shut up?""Maybe.""Then yes, I would agree to go out with you if you asked and we weren't on the same team.""Would you fuck me?""Oh for the love of Altea!"





	The Stash

**Author's Note:**

> I love comments & kudos! Constructive criticism welcome as well.

"Oh my God."

"Hmm?"

"Oh my God!"

"What?"

"OH MY GOD!"

Keith slammed his book on Altean history shut. The look he gave Lance spoke of instant, painful death. "Well?"

"I'm accessing more of our fan pages," replied Lance, who was staring at a small blue screen in front of him.

Keith rolled his eyes. Lance was constantly searching for love from Voltron fans, usually young girls. "What did you find this time," Keith asked, flipping through the book for the page had just been on.

"Man, these fans write some crazy shit," Lance answered.

"Enlighten me."

"Have you ever heard of yaoi?"

"Can't say that I have."

"Really? I thought you were a fan of that anime and manga stuff."

"Does it look like I waste my time with cartoons and comic books?" Keith replied, growing ever more annoyed.

Lance frowned and glanced back at the screen, studying it carefully.

"Well, for your information, I just found a group that writes yaoi stories about you and me."

"Fantastic, Lance," Keith murmured, having lost interest before the conversation even started.

Lance looked back at Keith calmly reading his book.

"Fantastic? Keith, yaoi is a genre dedicated to male-male relationships! You should look at this. There's some explicit stuff on here."

"Such as?"

"Well, like us fucking in every possible position known to humankind. These fans are crazy!"

Lance peered back at Keith to gauge his reaction. He was still expressionless.

"I wonder why they think we're gay lovers."

"Who's to say we aren't – or can't be?"

"Lance, do I have to remind you how many women you've dated? Not to mention your unending flirtations with Allura."

"No, but I've never considered asking a guy out. Who am I to say I wouldn't like it."

"So, you're bi now?"

"I'm just saying, why call ourselves 100% straight if we've never tried the other way before."

"You sound like the crazy one now," Keith said, shaking his head as he went back to reading.

Lance prodded more. "How about you?"

"What about me?"

"Would you try something with a guy?"

"I don't have time to date either gender."

"Okay, hypothetically, if you had time off and you met a really hot guy and he asked you out, would you say yes?"

"Hypothetically?"

"That's what I said."

Keith paused. He was searching for the response that would shut Lance up soonest. "Sure, I would say yes just to see where it went."

Wrong answer.

"Do you think I'm hot?"

"Lance, fuck off. I'm trying to read."

"Just answer the question. Do you think I'm hot?" Lance struck a model-like pose to emphasize his question.

"You are an attractive man. But you already know that."

"So, if I asked you out, would you say yes?"

"No. I would never fraternize with team members."

"Okay, what if we weren't on the same team?"

"Lance, where are you going with this?"

"I'm just curious. If I asked you out, and we weren't team members, would you say yes?"

"If I say 'yes' will you shut up?"

"Maybe."

"Then yes, I would agree to go out with you if you asked and we weren't on the same team."

"Would you fuck me?"

"Oh for the love of Altea!"

"Well, would you?"

"I think you would have to get me plenty drunk before I agreed to even consider that."

"Why?"

"I don't want to think about my dick or yours going in places like that. Certain orifices were meant for letting things out, not taking things in."

"But people do it all the time. And it's the easiest way to stimulate your prostate. Haven't you ever tried to do it on your own?"

"Do what on my own?"

"Stimulate your prostate. You know, like with a finger?" Lance curled his finger and wiggled it, trying to demonstrate the technique.

Keith blushed briefly while mumbling something under his breath. He tried to focus his attention back to the book.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear that, Keith."

"I said, does it really matter?"

"You haven't, have you?"

Keith blushed again and didn't respond. Lance asked again, "Have you?"

"Not with a finger." Keith's face bloomed five more shades of red.

"Damn, Keith! Then with what?"

Keith didn't answer. Lance's curiosity overflowed. He rose from his chair in the common room and walked toward the door. "Guess I'll have to see for myself," he said, suddenly turning and sprinting towards Keith's room.

"Lance, get your ass away from my room!" Keith shouted, bolting after him.

"Why? Will it find something it likes?" Lance taunted, reaching Keith's door.

Keith had left it unlocked, and Lance strolled in quite casually, locking the door behind him with a code that would take Keith some time to crack.  _Now, where would I be if…,_  Lance thought as he poked around Keith's quarters.

He sat on the edge of Keith's bed and looked for the place easiest to access from it.  _The night stand, of course!_

As Keith pounded away on the door, demanding to be let in, Lance turned to face the short set of drawers next to the bed. The first drawer contained his blade left to him by his mother. The second drawer held books, letters, and memorable photos. The final drawer was…locked.  _Well, well. I think we found something here._

Years of causing mischief when he was younger gave Lance the skills to pick most basic locks. In no time, the drawer was unlocked, and Lance slid it open carefully.

**~~.~*~.~~**

"Lance! I swear you're a dead man!"

Pidge, strolling by with her face plastered on a screen displaying lines and lines of code, heard the noise and stopped at Keith's side. "What's with all the shouting, Keith?"

"Lance locked me out of my room and is snooping around."

"Oh? For what?"

"Doesn't matter. Can you override his lock command?"

"What do I get?"

"You want a reward for this? You're just as bad as Lance!"

"Well?"

"Fine, I'll let you show me that new video game tonight."

Pidge typed a few commands on the control pad on the wall, and the door slid open. "Really, Keith, if you haven't learned to crack Lance's codes by now you're going lose all power over him," she warned as she continued down the hall.

Keith stepped into his room and saw Lance in shock, staring at the open drawer.

**~~.~*~.~~**

"Oh my God, Keith! You of all people! I'd have thought you were too uptight for this shit."

Lance began pulling out various sex toys from Keith's night stand – a few dildos, a vibrating cock ring, a couple anal plugs, and a prostate massager. To top it off, there was a healthy stash of gay porn.

Keith, who now was as red as his lion, locked the door behind him and pushed Lance away. "You were never supposed to see this. No one was!"

Lance studied the prostate massager. "Bet this hits the spot better than a finger, huh?"

Keith yanked it out of his hands as he scrambled to put everything back. "You can't tell anyone about this!"

"Oh, I don't know, Keith. Not only are you hiding your sexual status, but you've got a treasure trove of sex toys and porno. Hugh Hefner would blush."

"What do you want?" Keith sighed. He knew Lance kept quiet with bribes.

Lance made his way to a small collection of bottles and glasses on Keith's shelf. He poured a shot's worth of some type of Altean alcohol into a glass. Then he reached into his coat pocket, and pulled out a bottle of lube that had been in Keith's drawer. He held out both the booze and the lube to Keith.

"You never did answer my question."

Keith gulped. "Which question?"

Lance grinned wickedly. "Would you fuck me?"


End file.
